A third-year master’s student.
An undergraduate graduate.
A third-year undergraduate.
A fourth-year undergraduate.
On the surface, I encountered lots of unfamiliar little worlds: there are plugins for submitting job applications; prices in the UK are apparently not that high; lunch can arrive through a mysterious delivery arrangement; and there was a curious piece of gossip about a local Hefei family—the probability of strange things in this world is not low. Well, I seem to have forgotten most of it already. Sorry, I forgot how bad my memory is.
Each person seems able to offer me five to fifteen small insights of this kind. People I click with keep giving me insights: that feeling when neurons in my brain suddenly connect… Do you know what I mean? It feels as if my brain has been rotated a little.
But there were deeper impressions too.
The most immediate one, and something I should criticize myself for, is that words can express a great deal that mathematics cannot encode. I have been stuck in a science-oriented way of thinking for too long. I vaguely remember that before turning eighteen, I was even somewhat dismissive of the humanities. But as I grow older, I increasingly feel how profoundly words affect people, relationships between people, and our relationship with the world.
I also discovered many weaknesses and characteristics of my personality. I do not demand that I change them, because I am who I am: my flaws are part of me, and so are my strengths. Still, the moment of discovery was surprising.
I realized that my personality is strongly affected by the person I am talking to, and that my intuition is remarkably accurate. With some students, meeting feels like entering a magnetic field. Our conversation quickly converges to a pleasant region—although I cannot guarantee that the other person is enjoying it…?
I also realized that I often suppress my debating instincts and am sensitive to feedback during interaction. I seem to prioritize a state in which both people can express themselves and neither is overpowered. Only then do I consider which topics might give both of us an information gain.
There is also a mistaken subconscious assumption I find hard to shake: at a rational level, I tend to assume people have similar knowledge backgrounds. In reality, their value systems and information differ enormously—at least much more than I imagined. That assumption therefore reduces the informational quality of the topics I choose.
Coffee Chat has also differed a little from what I expected. I thought I would ask very good questions: things I wanted to know that the other person actually knew. But there were not many such moments. I attribute this to not preparing much each time. My intuition is that spending a few dozen minutes preparing in advance would greatly improve the experience for both people.
Still, it is enough for people to enjoy being together!!! The rest is not that important!!!
And you are all welcome to keep joining us~~ Not just as the person across the table—let me buy you a coffee. Peers who are interested can also join my side as interviewers and step outside their comfort zones!